Bolton Therapy & Wellness - A Partnership For Your Best Life

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Women Who Cheat on Relationships
10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
4 Tips to Overcome Your Conflict Avoidance Issue
A Little Positive Thinking Goes a Long Way
My Worrying and My bad mood, which comes first?


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Women Who Cheat on Relationships

Women are profoundly sensual and sexual creatures, just as much as men. Yet somehow the idea that a woman in a committed relationship might have physical urges that she wants satisfied elsewhere, especially if her current man isn’t quite, shall we say, up for the job, always seems to catch people by surprise. And let’s face it, our societal distaste and astonishment over this particular activity may be a bit... provincial, idealistic, Victorian, etc. Pick your term. Of course, our cultural 

10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

In a previous post I wrote about some of the reasons women might choose to be sexual outside of their primary relationship. Judging from some of the comments that post received, a number of readers thought I might be ignoring the other half of the equation—men who cheat. (The highly misogynistic nature of a few of the comments suggests that at least a few male readers were hoping I’d leave the men alone.) But now that blog is here. Gents, it’s your turn.
Men are somewhat different than women when it comes to cheating, and a lot of that difference arises from the fact that men tend to define 

4 Tips to Overcome Your Conflict Avoidance Issue

Do you like to maintain positive, friendly relations with your teammates? Do you like to think of yourself as a good, nice, person who would never start a fight? You could be just as responsible for the dysfunction on your team as your aggressive, combative colleagues. That’s because it’s a problem when you shy away from open, healthy conflict about the issues.
If you think you’re “taking one for the team” by not rocking the boat, you’re deluding yourself.

Tips for the Conflict Avoidant

If you really struggle to embrace conflict, try these quick tips.

A Little Positive Thinking Goes a Long Way

We’ve all heard bits of wisdom like, “it is better to view the glass half full instead of half empty” or “life is what you make it” or “chaos is opportunity.”  These quotes, and many more like them, are about the power of positive thinking.
What is positive thinking, and how can it make a difference in your day, and your life?  According to many researchers, positive thinking begins with “self-talk.”  Self-talk is the stream of endless thoughts going through our minds every moment of every day.

My Worrying and My bad mood, which comes first?

Mood and worry go hand in hand – well, at least bad mood and worry do! This has often raised the chicken and egg question “Which comes first, my bad mood or my worrying?” Worrying tends to occur in times of stress, anxiety, depression – even anger, and other negative moods that become associated with worry include guilt and shame.

The way that many people think about this relationship between worry and bad mood is to assume that worry causes stress, anxiety, guilt, shame etc. That is, your bad mood is a passive outcome of your worrying, and anxiety is a consequence of your irrational tendency to chronically worry.

The Shame Family

“It is shame…which reveals to me the Other’s look and myself at the end of that look.”—Jean-Paul Sartre.  As Sartre well understood, in feeling ashamed we feel objectified and exposed as inherently flawed or defective before the gaze of a viewing, judging other. (Sometimes, we, ourselves, can be our viewing other.) In shame we are tyrannized and held hostage by the eyes of others; we belong, not to ourselves, but to them. In that sense, shame is indicative of an inauthentic or unowned way of existing.

Who is the Perfect Partner

The perfect partner is not the perfect person you dream about.

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love." Tom Robbins"We are, each of us, angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another." Luciano de Crescenzo.  The search for the perfect partner typically focuses upon looking for the perfect person with the ideal desirable traits. The major flaw in such a search is that it fails to take account of whether there is harmony between the would-be couple.